SuperConscientious

One of the annoying things about being me and being a Mom is that, in reality, I have trouble just rollin' with the punches. When I think about my kids and music, I envision them writing symphonies. When I think about my kids and MTV, I worry that Lucy will become body-obsessed and have an eating disorder. When I think about my kids and God, I envision my kids making their pathway not slowly...to First Communion, for instance. Instead, I see them at the altar for their weddings or Holy Orders vows.

I would say that this kind of goal-oriented mindset is pretty much an everyday, every minute occurrence in my life. In fact, there are times when I have to mentally talk myself into slowing down and just enjoying the moment: "Just chill out a little, Anne....it's going to be fine if Lucy just colors Curious George right now and doesn't finish an oil pastel masterpiece."

Ok, I was exaggerating a little bit with that one. But not really.

But seriously, there are disadvantages AND advantages to my compulsive, goal-oriented parenting. (Or at least, I'm about to make a case that there are.)

One advantage of forward-thinking in parenting is that I have the foresight to realize when my kids are subtly trying to take advantage and take control in our relationship. Hang on. I know that sounds weird. But kids are actually champs at this, especially mine.

Kids excel at trying to establish a routine that undermines the parent. Have you ever really watched Supernanny? Have you ever seen how the tantrum-throwers beg for first, a glass of water and then, a different blanket and then, a snugglier teddy bear and then, just 5 minutes of Mommy singing in the room. After the bedtime routine. After the lights out. It goes on and on and onandonandonandon. For my non-parent readers, it is downright exasperating. It's the kind of thing that makes my 14-hour day longer and longer and longer until finally, John and I collapse with exhaustion, realizing we've allowed our kids to control EVERY SECOND of bedtime and we have left no time or energy to connect as husband and wife.

A very detrimental effect.

Anyway, to get back to my earlier point, one advantage of forward-thinking in parenting is that I can acknowledge a bad routine-in-progress (see my She Devil post) and put a halt to it. Sometimes John and I would rather ignore a bad habit that is developing, but really, in the long run, we'd rather enjoy one another for a few moments every night.