Let's Be the Survivors

The odds aren't too great for marriages these days. Marriages have always faced hardship, but in our society, the cultural mindset has swung towards divorce as the easiest response to hardship.*

In a recent discussion with John, I reminded both of us of something we'd heard at a marriage retreat or workshop a short time ago. I might get the words wrong here, but this is the general message:

We don't want to be an ordinary couple. We don't want to have an ordinary marriage.
We are looking to be extraordinary.

Now, before you think I'm just superegotistical, hear me out:
In an ordinary marriage, divorce is just around the corner. In an ordinary marriage, fights get out of control. In an ordinary marriage, people ignore their problems and allow one another to be selfish because sometimes, that's easy.

I can't let that be the way our marriage goes. I have to concentrate on being selfless for John. I have to concentrate on giving my family the edge that will pull us through to the 50-year finish line.


*I want to point out here that I am not the kind of person who sees divorce as never an option. There are some dire situations in which divorce/annulment is really the best of all difficult options. But I want to be clear in stating that I think many marriages fail because it's easy to be selfish in a marriage and selfishness is ultimately destructive in any relationship.