I'm sitting at our kitchen table, and you're tucked away in your car seat on the living room rug. You seem to prefer slumber in your car seat over any other place; so far, you've spent every night in that utilitarian little bed.
Our family is turned upside-down in love with you. The house is chaos with a newborn, a 1 and 1/2 year old, and a 3 year old, but no one really seems to mind. I've pretty much given up cleaning in exchange for feeding you and defending you from baby-loving siblings. Tommy and Lucy have their ears continually perked to hear the slightest noise coming from your lips. "Jimmy's awake!!" "Yimmy!!"
We watch for your eyes to open, we admire your long, slender fingers. We give you kisses and wait for you to join in the laughter of what has become, to be honest, our little family circus.
It's exhausting to be a mom to 3 kids so demanding of my time and energy---mental and physical. Most of the time, I feel like I could fall asleep on a moment's notice, Jimster. But then, there are days like today, when I wake up and realize the beauty that I'm blind to when I cave in to that exhaustion. In this chaos, I have to focus on the love that binds us.
You're starting to put just a little meat on your bones. I've been waiting for that to happen, and it makes my soul smile to see your round face with milk dribbling down to a slightly double chin. You have that sweet smell of baby, and I know I'm in love when even your dirtiest diaper smells wonderful. How strange is that? But it's the truth.
Today, Daddy fed you the 1st bottle.
Tomorrow, you'll probably be gabbing away like Lucy.
Or donning super-hero costumes like Tommy.
It goes so fast, my baby. I just want you to be my littlest for a while.
I love you, Jimmy.
Mama
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