Protect and Defend

John and I watched a documentary on FDR a few nights back, and it struck me, as it often has in motherhood, how the idea of war changes when you are a parent.
On a daily basis, I'm forced to think about these hundreds of little things to protect my kids from---bee stings on the front porch, choking on peanuts, crossing the street without looking. Obviously, these are minutiae compared to what one confronts in wartime.
What would it be like to be the parents ripped from one another and their children as they segregated into genders in the Holocaust concentration camps? What would it be like to pray genuinely and pleadingly for the life of your child to be safe?
Really, these thoughts are almost too grounding for a mom to contemplate. So, I'm content to worry about what will happen if Tommy drinks too much apple juice, or if Lucy doesn't get enough exposure to baby word books.
And then, every so often, I realize just how blessed we really are.

Shrimp & Curry on Top

Frozen, cooked shrimp is a great on-hand freezer item. Shrimp goes well with pasta or rice, and is complemented by many vegetables, although it can easily stand alone.

Last night, I attempted to replicate a shrimp dish I'd made some time ago at Let's Dish (by the way, great value for your money) but I had to do it mostly from memory, since my camera-phone pictures of the recipes didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped.

Shrimp & Curry on Top
ingredients
3-4 T butter
1 T curry powder
3 T onion, chopped finely (I used red)
1 t minced garlic
1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
3/4 C sliced baby bella mushrooms
10 baby carrots, sliced
20 frozen, cooked shrimp
white or (better) jasmine rice, prepared per package instructions
directions
1. On medium-low heat, melt butter and saute in garlic, curry powder, onion and carrots. Take care not to burn garlic. Keep on low heat about 5 minutes.
2. Add chickpeas and shrimp to pan. Cover, stirring occasionally under shrimp is heated through--about 10 minutes on medium (it will shrink as it heats).
3. Add mushrooms and saute about 2-3 more minutes.
4. Serve in bowls atop the rice.

There are so many great things about this recipe---for one, I love the hearty addition of chickpeas, which I never use in the kitchen otherwise. What else do you make with chickpeas? Another great thing about this recipe is that almost any vegetable could be substituted---broccoli, green peas, snow peas, etc.

Unjust

There are so many moments of motherhood for which I'm not proud. This morning was a biggie. It started out when Tommy refused to eat his cereal, changing his mind after several bites and declaring that he wanted toast. On the principle that we don't waste food, I let him be excused from the table instead of eat his cereal. Then I reminded him that he'd get no snacks because he had wasted so much.

A two year old can't go long on an empty stomach, though: several hours later, we were trying to get motivated and head to the gym, when Tommy threw a high tantrum about his inability to pull his pants down to go potty. I know he can pull his pants down; this has just become an issue for Tom to press, an area of control that I usually allow him because I just want him to get the job done. Over the last few weeks, though, I've pressed him to become more self-reliant since I'm getting astronomical and it's hard to do all those little, bending jobs.

Anyway, if you're a Mom, you can probably envision the screaming tantrum that ensued. Tommy hungry, me frustrated. I'm not sure who was louder or more ridiculous. I yelled at the top of my lungs, he wriggled, laying on the bathroom floor and refusing to pull down the sweatpants. Finally, he peed his pants and I just lost it.

Soon into my tirade, I recognized that I was out of control and that my behavior was doing much more damage than good. I dropped to my knees and held Tommy, shaking and crying. I said I was sorry for yelling, and he whimpered, "I don't like yelling, Mom." I feel awful to admit how horrible I could treat Tommy; how little patience and understanding I gave him this morning.

But Tommy forgave me and went back, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, to loving me as if I'd done nothing wrong. So unconditional. So childlike. So inspiring.

Why can't I forgive things so quickly and completely? Why can't I be patient more of the time? Sometimes life seems to rise up and present these completely simple ideas---fairness towards others, for instance---that are so much harder to act out than I'd like to admit.

Maternity Shopping Spree?

I stopped in at Ann Taylor Loft recently to check out the accessories. With the pregnancy coming to a close, I'm not in the market for any more maternity wear, and am instead left to dream of regular clothes (maybe I'll get to wear them for a few months this time?) and accessories. Imagine my surprise when I learned that they'd been carrying cute maternity clothes all this time! I guess I saved myself a bunch of money with that knowledge in secret, but if you're a working woman spending cash on a growing belly, I'd check them out.

Gestation: Almost Complete

I checked in with Dr. He-Man today, and we are indeed in synch: gestation will be complete, in my case, at 37 weeks. He said I'm measuring a little big. That puts #3's birth at approximately the 4th of July (which I've been planning on since day 1). I am also supposed to have an ultrasound at 35 weeks.

Thank goodness the end is in sight.

Delicious and Quick Vegetables

Everything tastes better with goat cheese. Today, I sauteed green beans and portabello mushrooms in butter and sprinkled it lightly with salt. Then I added a healthy amount of goat cheese. A simple, hot salad that John and I both loved!

Eat Your Vegetables

Tommy was hungry for a snack, so I gave him a bowl of dry HoneyCombs while he watched Sesame Street. Twenty minutes later, he was back: "I'm still hung-ary, Mom! Can I have some more HoneyCombs, please?"
"No, Tom, we're going to eat lunch in a little bit, so that's enough snacks."
And then, knowing I'll say yes: "Then, can I have a carrot, Mom? Please?"
And then, knowing I think it's cute that he has finally learned to hold up a correct number of fingers on his hand: "Can I have [pause to count out the fingers] two carrots?"

Happy Mother's Day to Me!

I was hoping you'd be able to see more of #3 in this picture, but s/he's a little crowded by the siblings.

Obvious

Foolish Husband to his Pregnant Wife: Why'd you want me to pick up that ice cream at the store?
Wife: [Long pause.] So I could eat it.

15 Short Months

Oh Lucy,

I stole this picture that Katy took. It was perfect timing, really: I'd just been thinking today how beautiful you were growing before my eyes. The time has flown and soon, you won't even be my littlest baby. But you'll always be my Lucy.

There is a spark in you, Miss Lucy, that everyone seems to see.You make friends wherever we go. People can't help but notice your giggling demeanor and the way you race, wobbling, from place to place. Just the other day, a quite random boy at the gym daycare proclaimed you were his best friend. I'd never seen him before! He was at least 5! Many of the older kids there have taken you on as their own. They gush when you walk in the door, and wave goodbye, reaching out to touch you as we leave. What is it about you, Lucy? What makes everyone notice?

It's no surprise to a mother that her baby is shining and full of light. Luz. Several months ago, you began singing that rock-a-bye song in your rocking chair, melting my heart.There seems to be music gushing from you. In the car, you hum along to the radio in that soft voice.You actually murmur---in rhythm---to the ABCs and the Wheels on the Bus. You are learning and using so many words---ball, moo, bah, bottle, drink, milk, cookie, jump, up, down,Uh Oh. You lay in your bed when you're tired, and you never fuss. You just seem to love sleep when it's time for sleeping, and to love life when it's time for waking.

We are so lucky to be your family, Lucy. You are a fighter, the kind of girl who chases down what she wants and sometimes trips violently...but then you get up, brush off the tears and blood, and keep going. How can a girl not yet 15 months do that? Do you need me? Or do I need you more?

The line is so blurred.I will always be loving you, my baby.

Mama

Updates from the Single Mom

I'm a little behind on my May posting.I had all kinds of great plans for this month, including secret May Day baskets, sunshine, and long walks with the kids.Unfortunately, for the first part of this month, my dismal third-stage-of-pregnancy depression emerged and none of these plans materialized.My body is starting to feel the toll of this baby weight, I'm getting scared that I might not be able to work out through the whole pregnancy, and John also had to go to California for work.

I felt bad for John as he left town.I was having one of my emotional breakdowns, in which I question whether I'll be able to handle the three rugrats. He didn't want to leave me in my tearful state.

Things have been going pretty well in his absence, though. This morning, the kids and I journeyed to the nature center and saw my favorite spring flowers, the hyacinth, peeping up.Tom cooperatively refrained from jumping in the ponds, and then everyone took a good, long afternoon nap.

Not too much can take away from sweet-smelling hyacinth and a well-slept mom, but I do have a slight chafing issue. I'll spare you the details.

Happy spring!