Dear Jimmy,
It's one of those days today. The washing machine and dryer aren't working, and I made it to the gym with all you kids only to realize I had no tennis shoes. The snow outside is icky and the sky is dismal. But actually, despite all these things, I'm having a great day.
You are at the sweetest age right now, baby. You're actually anything BUT a true baby: your skinny legs are long and hang all the way to the floor when you're seated on the rocking horse. You run at the speed of light, and you've recently claimed your spot at the kitchen table in a booster seat. You're ready to run with the pack.
My favorite part about your stage, though, is how much you're learning to say each day. Everything I say----from "light saber" to "potty check" to "Shoot! Clean it up!," you parrot back. This stage really keeps a mom on guard!
You're developing a newfound relationship with Tommy as a playmate lately. Tom loves to grab ahold of you and seat you in between his legs to go down the slide together He also loves to sing you songs to calm you down.
Lucy, too, loves to make you giggle. But I think at this juncture, she has a bit of jealousy towards her baby brother. You're accomplishing so many "firsts" as a baby, and Tom has so many privileges because he is the oldest. Sometimes Lucy can't help but want to reclaim the booster seat for herself. It's something physical that represents her place in our family.
Our family.
When I look back at pictures from a year or 18 months ago, Jim, I can't believe what John and I undertook. The three of you! Every minute and every outing seemed like climbing a mountain. I can remember the very rare occasions when I'd take you all to the grocery store. I just dreaded the checkout area, because it was going to be the inevitable scene of a meltdown. Or twenty. There were potty accidents and poopy diapers and screams and shoes to tie and the "Why?" phase. It all just happened at once!
And now, I'm not sure if it's that you're growing older as a group or that we're finally settled into our home…but somehow, it's gotten easier. There are moments in the day when I actually sit down and think about what is next for us and for me.
What is next?
Don't get me wrong, Jim. It's still chaos over here. It's just a smidgen less chaos than has become habit. At Rainbow Foods the other morning, I was carrying you on my hip and gripping Lucy's hand as she jumped into sloppy snow puddles and directing Tom to stay close because cars were coming. I felt confident and on top of managing you kids. And yet still, a middle-aged woman rolled down the window of her Suburban to tell me her kids were 21, 19, and 18…and I would make it through these days.
I know I will. I know I can. But on days like today, when your hair smells so sweet and you lay on the floor in the morning waiting for a "kiss (a)ttack!", I'm just enjoying the moments God has made room for in my life.
I love you, Jimmy.
Your, Mama
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