Yumtimes

Just ate at Brasa tonight with Miss Kate. She's been trying to make this happen for months, and now I know why:

Fabulousness.

I can still taste the spicey tangy beef, the salty kickin' pork. The sangria that was actually authentic. A zippy bite that kept me going back for another sip. (And then, somehow, another and another.)

Tonight was the perfect equilibrium of food and long-awaited conversation. There is something about Kate that always leaves me thinking. Maybe it's the way she refills my sangria glass when I'm not looking...

But no, not just that. It's also the way Katy sees the world through those turquoise-colored spectacles. She inspires me to be myself...to know I am good enough as myself, but that my self may be ever-evolving.

3 Things About My Childhood

1. When I was a kid, I idolized my older brother. I remember distinctly how quick-witted he was as a teen. And I remember wondering when, if ever, I'd develop the ability to deliver comebacks like him at lightening speed.

2. I was very curious as a child about my older sister, whom I really didn't know that well. Most of the personal information I knew about Sarah was gathered by reading her diary. Consequently, I keep my own diary in a locked file cabinet.

3. I used to hide in the cabinets of our downstairs bar for hours, pretending I was a character from The Box Car Children.

Smartie Pants

It's really not that polite to brag about my kid, but sometimes a mother just has to beam.

"Hey Mom, guess what 2 plus 2 plus 1 is?"

"What is it, Tom?"

"You have to guess, but I'll give you a hint. It starts with an F."

Little Old Selfless Me

I decided to relent to John's plea and switch his clothing to the other side of the closet.

And now that it's done, I realize that John really got the rotten end of the deal in the beginning.

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Let's Play Dictionary

Lunchtime conversation is generally enlightening with 3 children under 5:

Tommy: I have a paaaaar-ty!  I have a paaaar-ty!

Me:  Tom, that's boasting.  It's not very nice to your sister.

Tommy:  What's boasting?

Me: It's when you make someone else feel badly because you get to do something special.  Like if someone at school gets to be the line leader, and you don't....and he says, "I get to be the line leader and you don't!  I get to be the line leader and you don't!"  How would you feel if someone did that?

Tommy:  Bad.

Lucy:  That's roasting. 

Tommy: Boasting!

Lucy:  That's roasting.  Roasting stinks up.

Tommy:  It's BOASTING, Lucy!

Lucy:  Yeah.  That stinks up.

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My Lu

She's almost three.

She's the girl you hardly ever see without a tuft of blue in front of her face.

She's the one who will pipe up to tell you that she is a big kid.

She's the one who is dressed in the morning in pink from head to toe.

Except maybe grumbling a little because it's hard to put on a sock that is inside-out.

She's the one who notices the snow sparkling in the sunshine.

And who sings about shaking away her sillies at school.

She is always looking to grow up, up, up like Tom

Except when she's looking for snuggle or a nursery rhyme like Jim.

She is wearing glittery dancer shoes, and yet playing basketball at the gym with 20 boys.

She is telling you proudly that she goes potty by herself.

She asks you to read just one more book, even thought she's so tired.

She wonders when "Grandpa and Grandpa" will be here to visit.

She's ready to do projects and bake cookies and use a scissors.

And to ride a bike a year before the rest.

Lucy.

She has made a claim on this world,

But she's not going to let us in on the secret yet.

Her life is just unfolding, just beginning, at 3 years old.

A Winter Note for Jimmy

Dear Jimmy,

It's one of those days today.  The washing machine and dryer aren't working, and I made it to the gym with all you kids only to realize I had no tennis shoes.  The snow outside is icky and the sky is dismal.  But actually, despite all these things, I'm having a great day. 

You are at the sweetest age right now, baby.  You're actually anything BUT a true baby:  your skinny legs are long and hang all the way to the floor when you're seated on the rocking horse.  You run at the speed of light, and you've recently claimed your spot at the kitchen table in a booster seat.  You're ready to run with the pack.

My favorite part about your stage, though, is how much you're learning to say each day.  Everything I say----from "light saber" to "potty check" to "Shoot!  Clean it up!," you parrot back.  This stage really keeps a mom on guard! 

You're developing a newfound relationship with Tommy as a playmate lately.  Tom loves to grab ahold of you and seat you in between his legs to go down the slide together  He also loves to sing you songs to calm you down. 

Lucy, too, loves to make you giggle.  But I think at this juncture, she has a bit of jealousy towards her baby brother.  You're accomplishing so many "firsts" as a baby, and Tom has so many privileges because he is the oldest.  Sometimes Lucy can't help but want to reclaim the booster seat for herself.  It's something physical that represents her place in our family.

Our family. 

When I look back at pictures from a year or 18 months ago, Jim, I can't believe what John and I undertook.  The three of you!  Every minute and every outing seemed like climbing a mountain.  I can remember the very rare occasions when I'd take you all to the grocery store.  I just dreaded the checkout area, because it was going to be the inevitable scene of a meltdown.  Or twenty.  There were potty accidents and poopy diapers and screams and shoes to tie and the "Why?" phase.  It all just happened at once!

And now, I'm not sure if it's that you're growing older as a group or that we're finally settled into  our home…but somehow, it's gotten easier.  There are moments in the day when I actually sit down and think about what is next for us and for me. 

What is next?

Don't get me wrong, Jim.  It's still chaos over here.  It's just a smidgen less chaos than has become habit.  At Rainbow Foods the other morning, I was carrying you on my hip and gripping Lucy's hand as she jumped into sloppy snow puddles and directing Tom to stay close because cars were coming.  I felt confident and on top of managing you kids.  And yet still, a middle-aged woman rolled down the window of her Suburban to tell me her kids were 21, 19, and 18…and I would make it through these days. 

I know I will.  I know I can.  But on days like today, when your hair smells so sweet and you lay on the floor in the morning waiting for a "kiss (a)ttack!", I'm just enjoying the moments God has made room for in my life.

I love you, Jimmy.

Your, Mama

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