Before Motherhood

I have received a poem similar to this one as an email forward in the past.  Today, on Mother's Day, I thought it would be interesting to write down some of the things that have changed about me, and things I have learned, since becoming a mom almost 4 years ago.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't realize it was a near-impossible task to keep pairs of socks for 3 little people together, clean, and not eaten by the washing machine or couch cushions.
I didn't realize what joy it would be to snuggle up on a Saturday morning in a cozy bed and pretend to hide from ghosts under the covers.
I never knew how the sweet smell of thumb-sucking spit residue would be more intoxicating than any other scent.
That a few scribbles in three Crayon colors could melt my heart.
That jammies handed down through my children would be so sentimental.
That songs off-key would be something I'd want to record forever.

Before I was a Mom,
I never realized that I would see the world with a totally different lens.
That I would travel less and worry more about not the safety of my own children, but rather my safety so that I could protect and guide them for years to come.
That I would consciously evaluate everything spoken in the presence of my children.
That I would want to intervene in others' conversations and ask them,
When you said that word, did you realize my children's ears were listening with rapt attention?

Before I was a Mom,
I never imagined that hot sauce would become a daily threat for sassing offenses.
That children could so innocently misjudge safety and bury a baby underneath pillows, thinking it was just a game.
That toothbrushes would become objects of mystery, and that any toothbrush in the house might get eerily close to the toilet on a given day.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't realize that I would spent every single moment of every day protecting my children, and yet somehow managing to do laundry, cleaning, cooking, teaching, organizing, disciplining, and unconditionally-loving at the same time.

I didn't realize how easy it would be to teach my children to pray.
I didn't realize how hard it would be to get my children to lay in a still manner while I change diapers.
I didn't realize how often the sickness would come.
I didn't imagine how all-encompassing the joy would be.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know how sexy my husband could be with spit-up on his shoulder.
I didn't truly understand what union meant.
I didn't realize the value of a spouse who would do anything for me and for our children at a moment's notice.
Someone who would work hard, every day, and not complain.
Someone who would come home and pitch in every moment---
Not because I ever asked him,
But because he wants to do it, and because he wants our family to be the best it can be.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know that love could grow so strong between children so small.
That torn books were the best books.
That whispering is more effective than yelling.
That patience is a daily goal more difficult to attain than anything I've ever attained.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't appreciate leisure time.
I didn't realize there would be a time in my life when for 14 hours a day, I would hear noise and work hard and have people climbing on me and clamoring for my attention every single second.
I didn't realize how exhausting it would be.
Or how humbling it would be.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know what a joy it was to give birth.
What an honor it was to hold another woman's newborn baby.
What a marathon it was to carry a child in your womb for forty weeks while chasing after other children.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't realize how hard it was to get children to sit quietly.
How innately they fidget.
How natural it is, to them, to comment when they don't like a certain food.
Or when they see a person who looks different than they do.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't realize it would be a daily effort to teach my children to truly respect others.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know that love between my husband and me could grow any deeper.
I didn't realize that love would multiply with each child we welcomed.
I didn't know what it was to pray to God for strength just to get through a day.
I didn't really know what it meant to thank God for gifts so amazing that I am truly and wholly unworthy.

Happy Mother's Day!

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